Travis White (00:01)
Hello and welcome to Overcome a Mental Health Podcast. I'm very excited to be here today and welcome on today's guest. We have with us, Annetta Wachla. Annetta, how are you doing today?

Aneta Waclaw (00:13)
I'm good, Travis. Thank you for the opportunity to be here.

Travis White (00:17)
And we're just going to jump right in and have Annetta start us off and tell us about her journey.

Aneta Waclaw (00:25)
Yeah, absolutely. So I feel like I am somebody who has been always a go-getter and I've always wanted to try as many things as I could. And that goes from working multiple different jobs, from working in the restaurant to working in an office job. And then...

Eventually I found myself working as a receptionist at a hair salon and I really enjoyed working at the hair salon. I love the environment. I always wanted to be there. So then in the middle of the pandemic in 2020, I was about, yeah, 20 years old. I ended up going to cosmetology school and I loved cosmetology school. It was about 10 months and I loved everything about the salon and working behind the chair.

But the problem was is that I found myself in an unhealthy relationship as well when I enrolled in beauty school. And that unhealthy relationship, it's one of the biggest blessings because it ripped me apart into so many pieces I could never imagine before. For example, I always say that if you want something, it's not gonna come to you in the form of a gold plate.

Travis White (01:29)
Thanks.

Aneta Waclaw (01:46)
It's going to come to you in the form of challenges and struggles. And boys did I struggle in the beginning. ⁓ I remember I was reading personal development books, listening to personal development podcasts, and I was really working on my emotional stability because something I didn't have growing up was the education behind emotional stability and how to cultivate it.

So that's what I asked. And then I got blessed with my ex who literally, like I said, ripped me apart from gaslighting to manipulation, love bombing, all the lies, all of it. And I didn't realize it at the time, but it was really building me up. It was breaking me apart to build me up to what I said I wanted.

because you get tested in the form of challenges and struggles to see if you're serious about what you want. So then when I was 21, I was still in beauty school, maybe like halfway or almost halfway done. And you know, we already had so many issues and I was like, you know, I think I know how we can solve this. Let's just get married. It'll be fine. Let's just put a bandaid on it with a marriage title and it'll be great. Well, that didn't really work either.

So then just more like more things kept unfolding and unpacking from red flags to more unhealthy cycles. So then when I was 23, after I finished school and worked at the salons for a little bit, I said that this is enough. I can't take it anymore. You know, I need to get out of here and heal because none of this is normal and none of this is healthy.

So then when I was 23, I decided that we were going to go our own ways. And I'm from Chicago originally. So I stayed in Chicago for about a year, year and a half after that. And then I still felt like I wasn't fully getting the fulfillment from my healing from that relationship. So then I decided to move abroad and go somewhere where nobody knows who I am. So I can really take my healing journey to a deeper level.

And then that's about 10 months ago, I moved abroad and I started writing and I started my podcast Nourished Inside Out because something that I've learned is that there are so many people out there in unhealthy relationships and also they don't have the proper education behind it. So my goal with what I do now in my writing and my podcasting is to give people the education that I once needed.

during those challenging times.

Travis White (04:38)
That's really cool, bringing people hope after something that you went through that was difficult. What are some of those red flags that people need to look out for in an unhealthy relationship?

Aneta Waclaw (04:53)
You know, they can be so minor and so easily overlooked. Like for example, if your partner is picking at how you look or how you dress, or if they have any opinion on the people you associate with and there's nothing wrong with them, then those are actually red flags because something that I've learned is that if you're going to be with somebody,

They should accept you fully for who you are. And if they don't accept you for who you are, then they're going to try to change you into who you're not. And I think that's a dangerous place to be because you're so vulnerable. I grew up as a dancer. So I was constantly used to being told what to wear, how to look, how to dress, how to talk, all of that. Because in the dance and the arts world,

You don't really have a voice. So that's to me, going from dancing to that relationship, it actually seemed really normal that somebody was judging me for who I was.

Travis White (06:05)
And during this time, like this relationship that you're describing, what did it do to your mental health?

Aneta Waclaw (06:15)
It plummeted. I didn't know who I was. My ex was always plugging negative words into my mind, whether it was about who I am or what I do. And he was constantly criticizing to the point where I started to question everything. You know, I like to eat healthy. I like to go for long walks and exercise and hang out with my friends and

All of that, those things he would try to pull me away from. He would try to mold me into somebody that I'm not. Like this might be a little sensitive, but I remember he told me he was like, I'm not going to take a picture with you if you're not blonde. You know what I mean? It's like those little things. It seems little now, but at the time it was just like, okay, I was in such a vulnerable place because I didn't have a good self image.

Travis White (07:02)
Yeah.

Aneta Waclaw (07:12)
And I also didn't have the education on what unhealthy relationships are.

Travis White (07:18)
Yeah, and when that type of stuff happens, there's only like so much that you can take. But then it's like you, part of you probably didn't like, you know, want to go back to that single life. You're like, oh, I'm here. I'm in a marriage. I need to try to make it work. But then there's some point where it's like, okay, well, just need to stop this. Like I'm done.

Aneta Waclaw (07:39)
Yeah, and you know, I think one of the biggest things is now when I talk to people who are in unhealthy cycles and they tell me that about the situations that happen and tell them like, it's really not that healthy on what's happening. I think a lot of people are scared to leave because they're one of two things or both. They're scared of being alone and they're scared of starting over. The reality is you're not alone.

It's just what you tell yourself you are. have friends, you have family. If not, you can't go to those people. There's a community of people out there that understand. And if you're leaving on healthy cycle, you're never starting from zero. You're starting from experience. And I think that's a mindset shift that a lot of us need to understand is we have experience in certain areas. We're just taking it those

broken pieces and rebuilding them to something better.

Travis White (08:42)
Yeah, that's great. It's... What? Like somebody that's trying to get out of a bad relationship, what do you say to those people? Like what's the first steps they need to take to do so?

Aneta Waclaw (08:57)
Talk to somebody. I didn't talk or communicate what I was going through for the three years that we were together. And when I started to be vocal about it, everyone around me was like, Annette, that's not normal. That's not normal. You shouldn't have to come do that. Or he shouldn't be saying those things to you. And I always say, go to somebody you trust. And if you don't have somebody that you can trust on that level,

even call a hotline, you know, because those kinds of relationships, if there is some sort of abuse, it can get escalated so fast. You know, I think a lot of times that people don't look at emotional abuse as serious compared to physical abuse, because you can't see it in the physical, but emotional abuse.

Tense typically lasts longer than physical because the bruise will go away in a couple weeks. But what about your mental bruises? Those take a toll too.

Travis White (10:03)
Yeah, they stay there for a long time. It's not something you can just put some medicine on and then everything gets worse from there because I feel like you get that one mental bruise and it's like, okay, I'll do better with the next one. It's okay. And then they keep staggering. It gets worse and worse.

Aneta Waclaw (10:25)
Absolutely. And then eventually it's like it'll eventually blow up in your face or in a time where you don't want it to and you don't want that. So it's better to communicate with somebody about it.

Travis White (10:41)
And what was a turning point for you? When was it that your mind was like, you know what, like I need to leave this relationship.

Aneta Waclaw (10:51)
gosh, I knew I shouldn't have been in that relationship. That's the thing is when I was getting married, I knew I shouldn't have been getting married. When I was moving in with him, I knew I shouldn't have been moving in with him. But I did all of those things because I didn't have a good self image and I didn't have the courage to leave because it seemed normal. Coming from...

a background where my family raised my brother and I, they did everything they could to provide for my brother and I, but emotional and mental education, it wasn't there. communication wasn't the top of my list. Coming from a background as a dancer, constantly being judged, I was used to it. And then going into the beauty industry, I was just used to.

Always listening to everybody, because that's kind of what you are, a hair-pist at that point, you know? So that's like the thing is, at working at the salon, it's great, but it's so easy to work on the physical. Everyone talks about their eyelashes, their nails, their hair, their skin. But why is nobody talking about the conversation you're having with yourself? Why is nobody talking about emotional regulation?

Why is nobody talking about how to talk with your clients and how to have people skills with your clients? Those are things that I was not educated on. So it was easy for me to stay in an unhealthy cycle.

Travis White (12:33)
Yeah, I don't think I would be educated on it enough. Like if my relationship was unhealthy to actually know when to get out. I don't think I would know enough. Somebody that's like been through on their use of relationships, how can they rebuild their self-esteem after being treated so poorly?

Aneta Waclaw (12:57)
One of the biggest things that has helped me is surrounding myself with positive people. And it doesn't even have to be a whole group of people because as you heal and you start to grow in your healing journey, people will fade away from your life and that's okay. But also just looking myself in the mirror and telling myself positive affirmations.

I honestly didn't believe them at first because at first I didn't believe them, but the more I started to say them to myself in the mirror every morning, every night, every time I went to the bathroom, the more I would believe it. So like for example, I would write down on Post-it notes one positive affirmation a day, stick it on my bathroom mirror, and every time I saw that I would read it and I would add a new one every day until I couldn't see my mirror, then I had to.

kind of reevaluate.

Travis White (13:58)
Yeah, super

cool though, because I was the same way when I first started therapy and stuff for some of my mental health issues. I didn't want to do it. I didn't believe in it. I didn't think it would work. And he's like, no, keep my therapist pisses. was like, keep trying. You got to keep push yourself through it. And once I did, and I actually started writing stuff down and rereading it, it's like, oh, this is actually working. I'm starting to feel like a change of mindset.

Aneta Waclaw (14:27)
Yeah, it really all does start internally. know, it's what you tell yourself on the inside is what's gonna reflect on the outside. What you fill your body with on food, that's how you're gonna look on the outside. It all starts on the inside.

Travis White (14:49)
I had a guy come on not too long ago. He said that one thing that he tells people to do is to get a piece of paper or notebook or something and start writing down your perfect day. Write down everything that you want to do that day and write down what you want to accomplish and be pretty detailed about it. when you start writing stuff down, eventually you're going to believe it and eventually it's going to happen.

Aneta Waclaw (15:19)
Absolutely, I agree with that because at first it's kind of hard to believe if you're so used to being beaten down by somebody with negative words or manipulation, then it's so easy to believe that. You know, if you have a box of strawberries and there's one bad strawberry in there, it's going to take over the rest of them so fast. So it's so important. I think it the statistic is

It takes three positive thoughts to cancel out one negative.

Travis White (15:53)
Yeah, I can see that. I don't know the statistics, but I could see that. But what's the word I'm looking for? Just lost it.

So you said when you started healing, you moved abroad. Like, was that like? I'm guessing you didn't know the language or anything.

Aneta Waclaw (16:20)
No, and it's been an interesting journey, but it's been such a wonderful journey at the same time. So I went from Chicago to Mexico. I didn't know a lick of English or a lick of Spanish. And I didn't know anybody. I really started from ground zero. But I think one of the biggest, moving and traveling.

has been one of the biggest helps in my healing journey because you're no longer thinking about what hurt you. You're thinking about where am I gonna go do laundry? Where am I gonna go eat? Can I make friends here or do I need a roommate? What do I do? It's literally figuring out life. And when I first left my ex-husband, I solo traveled for a little bit and that has been such a blessing that I was able to do that.

because you really, you can't heal in a place that hurt you. So I always recommend get out of your hometown for a little bit. It doesn't have to be forever. If you wanna move somewhere for the longterm, cool, but there's always a flight back home if you don't like it because the places that broke you, it's hard to heal in those places.

Travis White (17:38)
And it sounds like for you, it's just like one huge reset to actually go and experience like moving abroad.

Aneta Waclaw (17:46)
Yeah, it's definitely been cool though. It's I've met so many incredible people and I've actually met some some of my realist friends here, whether they live here or they don't live here or they were just passing by and visiting it's you really start to appreciate the little things in life and you appreciate and you understand that your struggles were not that major.

They may have been major in that moment, but they're really not because there's so much more to life. And something I really appreciate about other countries is that they really live in the present moment. I can't speak on other parts of the world, but in Latin America, they live in the moment and they don't focus on the past.

Travis White (18:38)
That's really cool. I spend way too much time focusing on the past. So then I'm trying to learn to overcome.

Aneta Waclaw (18:48)
one step at a time.

Travis White (18:50)
Yeah, but sometimes it feels like it's like two steps forward and no, but is it one step forward and two steps back? I got that backwards.

Aneta Waclaw (18:58)
You know, I always say it's okay to look back on your past, but it's not okay to dwell in your past. It's okay to look back and be thankful that you're not where you used to be. Because a lot of times we get into the mindset of, man, I'm not as far along as I should, or I'm not exactly where I dream of every day. But you should be thankful you're not where you used to be.

That's something to congratulate yourself for.

Travis White (19:28)
Yeah. Yeah. That's a good way to put it. I've never thought of it that way. Unless I think... Nope, you're good.

Aneta Waclaw (19:35)
Yeah, because sorry to cut you off, but like we're always

we're always setting the bar higher for ourselves that we don't take the time to appreciate what we've overcome and what we've achieved so far. So instead of being hard on yourself, congratulate yourself for the little wins. You deserve it. We're all human. No one gave us a blueprint on how to be an adult. And if they did, I'd be concerned because every adult is different.

Travis White (20:04)
Mm-hmm.

I'd be concerned as well. And it's, I've always said that I'm my own worst critic.

Aneta Waclaw (20:13)
We always are. If you wouldn't say it to yourself, if you wouldn't say it to somebody else, don't say it to yourself. And that's how I've been viewing it. It's give yourself grace, give yourself compassion. You you've passed some of your toughest battles that some people don't even know about. So congratulate yourself.

Travis White (20:36)
Yeah, celebrate the little things.

Aneta Waclaw (20:40)
Exactly.

Travis White (20:42)
So from the experience, like moving out of the country, like what do you think is one of the biggest like life lesson, like healing type of things that you've learned?

Aneta Waclaw (20:57)
One of the biggest healing things I've learned since moving.

You're a

Travis White (21:03)
I guess another

way. go ahead.

Aneta Waclaw (21:06)
you're able to rewrite your story. That's what it is. It kind of goes back to look at look back on your past and be thankful you're not there anymore. But know you're able to rewrite your story. And if you go somewhere brand new, it doesn't even have to be far, it can be another state, or it can be another city in your state.

But if you go somewhere that's unfamiliar to you, it forces you to figure things out. Like where's the grocery store? Can I drive here or can I walk here? Is it walkable or is it drivable city? And that's what it is. Don't get stuck into the mindset that you can't change your story because you can. I went from being a hairstylist living in the city of Chicago, working and living there.

And then I moved, I left the salon three days later, I booked a one-way ticket to Mexico, subletted my apartment in three weeks, packed up my apartment. And three weeks later, I started a career in writing and podcasting and looking back on it 10 months now, it's one of the best decisions that I could have made because it's given me the opportunity to heal and to really show people.

who I am and who I want to be, not based on my past. Because based on my past, people know me for that girl who worked at the salon, that girl who got divorced at 23, and that girl that parties a lot. That's what people knew me by in Chicago, and I was tired of it. So you are able to rewrite your story.

Travis White (22:55)
That's cool. And I'm just curious, what was there a reason why you chose to go to Mexico? Like, it wasn't just kind of like a random like, did you have something tied to Mexico? Like, or was it just like, ⁓ I'm just gonna go here. Like,

Aneta Waclaw (23:12)
I heard the tacos were good.

I'm not kidding. I literally heard the tacos were good and I wanted to go to the dentist. Those were my motivators.

Travis White (23:29)
That's awesome. You're like, okay, well, the tacos are good. I'm going to try it out.

Aneta Waclaw (23:33)
Well, if you

think about it, coming from Chicago, we're famous for like deep dish pizza and Italian. I'm not going to go to like New York for a deep dish pizza. It doesn't make sense. If I'm going to get a taco, I'm going to go to Mexico.

Travis White (23:39)
Mm-hmm.

Dude, just pizza. Yeah.

That's awesome. Actually, I really do love it. It's completely different than what I was expecting.

Aneta Waclaw (23:55)
you

Nobody explained that.

Travis White (23:59)
But that makes it even better. I don't know what

I was expecting, but it makes it even better. Just cause it, it really like completely just threw me off.

Aneta Waclaw (24:07)
Yeah, nobody expects that answer and they're like, no, you're lying. Like, no, that's really all.

Travis White (24:11)
Yeah, well, for a second I was like,

she's telling the truth. so I don't even know how to follow up to that.

Aneta Waclaw (24:25)
Yeah, and it's like so nice because like when I was saying that like people really live in the present here like today is a holiday and literally there's no taco stands outside. So like, I think today is the first day that like I walked outside and I had a like I smelled the fresh air because usually it's tacos every day and I'm like, wait, is this what fresh air smells like? forgot.

Travis White (24:25)
and

Mm-hmm.

So they actually have a holiday where everybody takes it off and actually closes stuff down.

Aneta Waclaw (24:58)
yeah, holidays,

weekends, things are closed.

Travis White (25:03)
period because I feel like in the United States they don't do that like they should. don't.

Aneta Waclaw (25:09)
That's also another reason why I recommend like just even just traveling for a little bit. You don't have to entirely move, but once you experience different cultures in the world and different ways of living, it really makes you appreciate more because in the States it's work, work, work. That's it. So like going to different countries really makes you appreciate the different paces of life.

Travis White (25:39)
And you said you solo traveled for a while. Tell us more about that. you, were you like one of those people that were like driving a van around that, you know, like one of the, what are they called? I don't even know what the Sprinter van's. I'm kind of just make, yeah, the van life or was it you're just flying from place to place like.

Aneta Waclaw (25:58)
and life.

So it's actually a little different. So when I was leaving my ex-husband, it took me about five days to make this decision. I really don't think too much about traveling. If I hear the word travel, I'm like, I'm in. So I left my ex-husband. This is all happened in five days. I left my ex, I quit my job. I moved out of Chicago. My parents live in a different state in the US. So I moved back to my parents' house. And then,

I think I Googled like, can I run away? And then this country came up called Belize. I've never heard of Belize before, but I booked a flight and then a couple of days later I went there for three weeks and it was interesting. It was like three flights and a bus to get there. So I really wanted to get away.

Travis White (26:59)
I love just how spontaneous you are, like it's cool at the same time because this like, feel like it's really defined who you are today.

Aneta Waclaw (27:11)
Thank you. It's, you know, you can't take life too serious because I was so stressed out when I was in that relationship. Like I remember my in-law, my ex-in-laws came for Christmas and they were flying in from another country. And I was so stressed out to the point three months before they came that I remember my boss sat me down at work and she was like, Annetta.

You are so stressed about this. You need to relax. You know, if some if they come over and something happens that you're not okay with, then tell him that you want to talk to him in private and you guys can work it out. And even three months before she can tell how stressed I was because I wasn't myself. And quite honestly, I wasn't myself for three years when I was with him.

Cause it was constantly, I don't say this lightly, but a lot of times when people are in unhealthy relationships, they're in fight or flight mode. I feel like a lot of the situations where life or death, because I thank God every day I got out of that relationship alive. That's literally one of the things that I'm thankful for because he was so hot and he was so cold. He was very unpredictable.

And if I said anything to counter his thoughts or his actions, he would expect me to sit there and apologize all week just for saying something that I feel. it was in such like, I felt so, so much weight on my shoulders because of him. So when I left that relationship, I felt all the weight come off my shoulders and I've always loved to travel, but he didn't.

So we didn't travel. And when I left that, it really gave me the opportunity to just live my life and travel as much as I want.

Travis White (29:21)
So like when you were in this relationship, did he treat you? Was he like degrading towards you like in front of other people or was it kind of all behind like closed doors?

Aneta Waclaw (29:31)
Both. It was both because we would go, for example, if we go to somebody's house and they make dinner and they invite us over for dinner, he would eat dinner. And then in the middle of the table, he would say, ⁓ you know, you really need to cook this. We're not leaving until you get the recipe. And he would just try to make me feel bad because I wasn't cooking exactly what

they were cooking at our friend's house. Or if we weren't acting in the way that his friends were, he would say, why can't we act like that? Why can't we look like them? And it's like, why are you comparing us to them? We have our own issues to figure out. And you're not even helping me. You're just expecting me to figure it out. And then behind closed doors,

Complete being completely transparent with you. I was never sober because I couldn't deal with him sober I was always drinking or I was always smoking Because that was the level of stress that he brought to the table. He didn't bring any safety He didn't bring any comfort. It was constant fight-or-flight life or death kind of thing with him

Travis White (30:52)
And when you're in those types of situations or stressful moments, which way do you lean more towards? Are you more of the fight person or the fight person?

Aneta Waclaw (31:05)
I have a very type a personality and he wanted to be in control even more. So I think we bumped heads a lot because I was trying to be the fixer, but then I was also trying to take control because I was trying to fix the situations. But in reality, you can't fix anybody. You can only fix yourself. And there's two things you can control in this life, your actions and your attitudes.

And you can't fix anybody's problems for them. You can be there to support them, but you can't pick up their slack.

Travis White (31:43)
Yes, I totally agree. It's like you can kind of nudge them and push them in the right direction. Like, you know what? You should work on this. But you in the end, it's not up to you to make them do it. Like they need to choose to do it.

Aneta Waclaw (32:02)
Exactly. Completely agree.

Travis White (32:06)
And did you?

like ever kind of have to push him to like try to you know fix his flaws or whatever or was it just like you know there's no way I'm gonna get through to this guy

Aneta Waclaw (32:20)
I learned early on that I can't because I told you that before I got into the relationship, I loved reading and I loved listening to personal development podcasts. And there would be like sometimes where we would be reading the same book or we would read a different book, but at the same time. And I remember I would ask him like, Hey, like, what did you learn from your book? Did you learn anything?

Travis White (32:29)
Mm-hmm.

Aneta Waclaw (32:47)
interesting or how to grow in certain areas. And then he would immediately shut me down and say, stop acting like my mom. Stop acting like my professor. It's not your right to ask me those questions. Like, ⁓ okay. So like, it was constantly shutting me down on anything I said.

Travis White (33:07)
Yeah, it's like, those are the types of questions I ask my wife all the time, like, hold conversation and to, you know, like, know more about what she's reading or, you know, whatever, it's,

Aneta Waclaw (33:23)
It's a healthy way to engage in a conversation

if you want to grow together. I understand like if you're trying to be, if you're trying to be somebody's teacher and you're the way that you're wording it may come off like that. But then I would even try to word it in different ways and same thing. He would just say, you're not my mom. You're not my professor. You don't have the right to ask. Okay, then maybe you're not reading and maybe you don't want to tell me. So just have a nice day.

Travis White (33:53)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that just makes me boil. Just listening to some of these things, just gets me boiling inside. Because nobody deserves to be treated like that. It's not hard to be cordial in a relationship and openly communicate without being mean.

Aneta Waclaw (34:04)
Fun times.

No, and... Go ahead.

Travis White (34:24)
If if something bugs you about another person, like the only thing that like sometimes like I get like, like, is for some reason with different tones, I don't I take it like certain tones like a bad way. And I know like nobody means it that way. It's like, so I put it always put it back. It's probably a me thing that I need to work on. But still.

Aneta Waclaw (34:47)
But I like that

you brought that up because I think the way that you say something or ask questions, the tone is so important. But I think if you're just asking those basic questions to get a conversation going or to because you genuinely care about someone and they're shutting you down, that's also a red flag. But also it's very important how you say it.

Travis White (35:10)
Thanks.

Yeah, I totally agree.

trying to think of how to work this. Give me a second. How difficult was it for you to actually break free from the relationship?

Aneta Waclaw (35:33)
Took me three years. I knew it. I knew it was a bad idea since month one. Took me three years to break free. So when people, know, a lot of times people will ask me, how do you detach so fast? How do you not like get attached to somebody without having feelings in there? And when somebody says that to me, I tell them to take all the time they need to learn.

And I have so much compassion for people who don't leave a relationship when they should, because it's not easy. It really does start within yourself. How do you view yourself? How you love on yourself? How do you treat yourself? Because that's also going to determine how you allow someone else to treat you and how you allow someone else to talk to you. So if you don't have boundaries in the beginning, it's going to be really hard.

I mean, gosh, we had an argue schedule. Most people have a quality time schedule. We had an argue schedule. I remember it was Monday, Tuesday was pretty chill because he went to work Mondays. Salons are closed on Mondays. And so I would be at home and then Tuesday or Thursday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, we would argue.

Travis White (36:39)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Aneta Waclaw (36:59)
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, it was pretty chill. It was us making it up to each other. And then when the weekend rolled around again, we'd be arguing. And that's just how it was. So I have a lot of compassion for people who are in unhealthy cycles.

Travis White (37:11)
you

Alright.

What?

those people that, let's see, already asked that one. Because I was like, in my mind, I'm like, that's like rewording it to something completely different. I was like, no, you, you said is when you said talk to somebody. So I was like, no, I'm not gonna re ask that. So

Aneta Waclaw (37:44)
Here it is.

Travis White (37:47)
Is there anything that we have not brought up that you'd like to talk about?

Aneta Waclaw (37:53)
I just like to encourage people to fall in love with yourself. Don't wait for somebody to give you the love that you desire and just really learn to fall in love with yourself because you spend the most time with yourself. Nobody knows you and no one's gonna love you the way that you love yourself. Your parents may love you, your partner may love you, but they're not gonna love you the way that you love yourself.

That's the biggest lesson is know you understand that you are worthy of great things and great relationships, but it all starts within yourself. So date yourself, even if you're married, even if you're single, even if you're in a relationship, date yourself and see how much that helps improve your relationships.

Travis White (38:43)
Yeah, I actually love that you brought that up because this last year I had to learn to like, because my self-esteem has always been pretty low. It has nothing to with my relationship. It's just me. And but I had to learn, like take the steps to learn to actually love myself and to prove my relationship with my wife, with my kids. Like I'm way more confident in myself than I have been in probably at least 10 years.

Aneta Waclaw (39:12)
incredible.

Travis White (39:13)
So it is

really crucial.

Aneta Waclaw (39:16)
That's incredible. And you know, it's like you and I are proof it's not overnight. We're not born like that. We all have trauma to some sort. You are not responsible for your trauma, but you are responsible on healing and growing through it because we're human. We're not meant to live in lack.

Travis White (39:21)
Mm-hmm.

Aneta Waclaw (39:35)
We're not meant to live in struggles and challenges. We are faced with struggles and challenges to use them as stepping stones to step into who we're called to be.

Travis White (39:51)
All right, and last, I guess not the last one, but close. Tell us a little bit more about your podcast.

Aneta Waclaw (40:00)
Yeah, so my podcast nourish inside out. It's pretty much a show to give people the tools and education that I once needed when I was going through challenging times. So that goes from anything from emotional regulation to dating coaches, nutritionists. I recently interviewed a sexologist the other day because that's also an area that I was not educated on once upon a time. So I just want to give back

people the education that I once needed on it.

Travis White (40:35)
Awesome. And then you also said that you have a book.

Aneta Waclaw (40:39)
Yeah, so my book is called Blooming with Self-Love. It's a 31-day positive affirmation and gratitude journaling book, and it's available on Amazon as well.

Travis White (40:51)
Perfect. And then I was asked this question. What bit of advice would you give anybody that's struggling with mental health issues?

Aneta Waclaw (41:04)
Just know you're not alone. Talk to somebody, reach out. Reach out to a close friend you trust, reach out to a family member, or if anything, reach out to, go find a, try to find a community online, whether it's Instagram, threads, Substack. I love Substack. It's a great community to write and to build community there. So just reach out. Somebody will understand you and be there with you.

Travis White (41:34)
Awesome. Love it. And the last thing, where can people find you? Where can our audience find you online?

Aneta Waclaw (41:43)
Yeah, so you can find me on Instagram at anetta.waclaw. My podcast, Nourished Inside Out, it's available on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. And then I do write and have a community on Substack as well at Nourished Inside Out.

Travis White (42:01)
Awesome. Well, Neda, it's been a pleasure having you on the show. Thank you for joining us. Thanks to all of our listeners. This time, please look for us on Instagram at OvercomePod and on YouTube as well, the same name. And please like, share, subscribe. And one thing that you could do to really help us out is if you're listening on

Apple Podcasts or Spotify, leave us a five-star review and just spread the love. Until next time, thanks for listening.